Emma's comics work speaks for itself, either her solo projects or those she works on with her partner, Gordon Rennie. There was no way I was going to pass up the chance to listen to Emma, and I'm very glad indeed that I went along.
It wasn't a solely passive experience. We had a couple of writing exercises during the two days. I present the results of one of them below - pick a title from three possibilities and write a two page script, no more than 6 panels to a page. We had a very short time to do an outline, then 45 minutes the next day to write the script.
Emma invited Edinburgh-based artist Stref (Stevie White) to chat about his process of turning a script into a comic. He was very generous with his time, even picking one of the scripts and running a sketchy first stage page layout to show how he worked the script and made the occasional change.
I've written comics in the past, and had them published too. That was all a long time ago, though. Even so, Emma - and Stref! - did a thorough job of laying out the essentials. Skriva were great hosts, following up nicely by passing on the notes Emma worked from for all our future reference.
You know a course has been worthwhile when you come out of it all fired up. I might well have been writing for a long time now - two decades next year - but I learned a lot from Emma and am looking forward to applying it.
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The story changed from outline to script, of course, but I thought I'd present the outline anyway, just to show my working as it were.
Room was Red – Outline
Cambodia.
Old man.
Market trader.
Grandson – 8 yo
Recognises customer
Former interrogator for Khmer Rouge
Red room – blue room
Follows the man, flashing back to tortures
Did he break? No.
Plans to kill torturer
Follows him home.
Sees family of torturer
Modest home
Shocked to see old man fall. Distressed young grandchild.
Helps him up.
They look at each other. Recognition.
Market stall holder – The room was red.
Torturer bows head.
Torturer – The room was red.
Torturer weeps. After a moment, the old man embraces him.
Returns to stall. Smiles at grandson.
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Here's the script. I wrote the first draft very quickly after the outline, then re-drafted during the 45 minutes the following day. I then did another re-draft while others were discussing their scripts, as I figured out a solution to the 'cliff-hanger' between pages.
I think, and Emma said the same, that it really needs a third page to properly tell the story, to allow for a little foreshadowing and to give key moments a bit more emotional impact. Still, for an hour's work, I'm quite happy with it. Ignore the formatting,btw, as Blogger killed what was there previously.
The Room was Red
PAGE 1
Panel One
EXT: MARKETPLACE IN VILLAGE IN RURAL CAMBODIA. DAY
Busy.
Old Man - market trader.
Stall sells vegetables. Really intricate, beautifully detailed vegetables. Hundreds of them.
Grandson, sitting on the ground beside stall reading US comic. Not paying attention.
In the bustle of people, the Former Torturer can be glimpsed approaching (assuming space allows).
Panel Two
Seen from over the shoulder of the approaching customer – the Former Torturer.
Old Man rises to meet new customer. Distracted looking back at Grandson.
Panel Three
Old Man shocked to recognise Former Torturer. Other man also shocked.
Panel Four
INT: RED ROOM. NON-SPECIFIC TIME OF DAY.
Flashback.
Dynamic scene contrasting with the relatively static early panels.
Red room. Basic set-up. Literally a room in a wooden building that has been crudely painted red. The windows are heavily painted too, preventing any sense of what time of day. The floor is splashed with paint, but also stained. (No idea how much space is available, but what they heck…)
Prisoner (the young version of the market trader, the Old Man) tied to chair, with feet out and tied down across a small bench/stool. He is in agony.
Torturer sitting calmly in chair. Detached.
Guard committing the actual violence. Enjoying his work. Sweating. Has thin cane with which he beats the bottom of the Prisoner’s feet. They are tattered and bloody.
Torturer
The room is blue.
Prisoner
NO! AHHH! AHHH! THE ROOM AHHHH! IS RED!
SFX
shhhhhhhhICK!
Panel Five
Small panel.
Prisoner slumped. Exhausted.
Guard knackered, standing but bent over, hands on knees, head bowed.
Prisoner
…red… …the room is… …red…
PAGE 2
Panel One
EXT: MARKETPLACE IN VILLAGE IN RURAL CAMBODIA. DAY
Back to present.
Looking from behind the Old Man.
Market trader is bolt upright, stiff. His only movement is one hand reaching out for a heavy stick (useful for shoplifters).
The Torturer is looking infinitely sad. Defeated. Accepting.
Panel Two
Old Man raises stick. He’s shocked still, not angry. This is all happening on autopilot. Years of pain expressing themselves without his conscious input.
Behind him, the Grandson is reacting, looking up from his comic, confused.
Torturer doesn’t move. Not necessary to see his face, but his eyes are closed.
Old Man
“The room was red!”
Panel Three
From the height of the kids, looking up at the adults. Not so important to see the Old Man’s face in this one (he’s still shocked).
Torturer has head bowed, face crumpling as he begins to weep.
Someone takes his hand – Little Boy. 4yo.
Old Man’s Grandson looks shocked. Standing now.
Torturer
“…yes…”
Panel Four
Not necessary to see his face, but the Torturer is still weeping.
The Little Boy looks up at the Torturer his grandfather, confused and afraid.
The Old Man looks horrified, as though waking to find this scene.
Former Torturer
“…the room was red…”
Panel Five
The Old Man holds the Torturer and they weep together. The hug is hard and desperate, full of emotion.
Sitting on the ground beside them, oblivious, the Grandson is showing the excited Little Boy the comic.
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