As a bunch of you know, one of the things I write for are video
games. Part of the process of landing a job on a game is often a test. Sometimes
you get away with samples (my agent at Sidelines has a bunch of those on file),
sometimes you get away with them knowing something you did in the past, but
most times you do a written test. I’ve done a bunch of these, for companies
like… ummmm… actually, I can’t say. Really. I’m not allowed. See, they make you
sign NDA (Ninja Dispensing Agreement) things that just stop you ever saying
anything while the company exists.
Sometimes I get the job, sometimes I get pretty close (even being the subject of a boardroom argument on one occasion - my side lost), and other times I don't even place. I racked up a fair number of close seconds, which are both gratifying and nippy in equal measure. For a start, you can't really put them on your CV.
There have been times when I land the job but the project has subsequently been canned. One of those, one I would dearly love to play if nothing else, ranks as the biggest 'What If?' of my career to date. It'll take some beating. The game was insanely gorgeous to look at, and would have been a stone cold classic. Sigh...
Things don't always work out even when you land a job. On one project, there was a genuinely amicable separation. This happens to writers (and coders, designers, producers, studio heads, etc) from time to time and, so long as it's professionally handled, is of benefit to all concerned. Never had a bitter one but, hey, there's time! Anyway, back to the subject at hand.
Sometimes I get the job, sometimes I get pretty close (even being the subject of a boardroom argument on one occasion - my side lost), and other times I don't even place. I racked up a fair number of close seconds, which are both gratifying and nippy in equal measure. For a start, you can't really put them on your CV.
There have been times when I land the job but the project has subsequently been canned. One of those, one I would dearly love to play if nothing else, ranks as the biggest 'What If?' of my career to date. It'll take some beating. The game was insanely gorgeous to look at, and would have been a stone cold classic. Sigh...
Things don't always work out even when you land a job. On one project, there was a genuinely amicable separation. This happens to writers (and coders, designers, producers, studio heads, etc) from time to time and, so long as it's professionally handled, is of benefit to all concerned. Never had a bitter one but, hey, there's time! Anyway, back to the subject at hand.
Most times, the test consists of writing dialogue. Sometimes
you get to write a bit of fiction, sometimes it’s a scene, sometimes it’s a bit
less interesting. Writing six different ways each of saying “Stop! Police!” for
four different cops is oddly dull, though that often then becomes what you have
to do in the job when you’re writing bark dialogue. There are normally interviews, or even just meetings, for the bigger jobs. Folks like to put faces to names and make sure there are no big personality clashes. The whole process can be a quick one, or it can take months.
Back when I first started out in video games, I did a test
for Midway to land the fiction monkey job on Wheelman; a game starring, and an IP created by,
gaming god Vin Diesel. I got the job in the end. Midway doesn’t exist anymore,
so I guess I can talk about the process. I had two interviews where I went to
the Midway Newcastle studio, and a telephone interview where I chatted to one
of the US
 |
| The first game I ever worked on. |
I did two written tests, as I recall, one of which included a
short essay on non-linear storytelling in games. Serious back to school stuff. I had to write a whole
pile of other things, including creating a bit of new material for a pre-existing
setting. Wheelman was going to be writing to a style set by others, so they
wanted to see that I could do that. There were also tests on writing character bios, and putting dialogue
into spread sheets (needed to keep track of dialogue at recording sessions and
then during the process of putting the recordings into the game itself). Oh, and I had to do a short branching conversation that, regardless of player
choice, led naturally to the same conclusion without being obvious about it.
Most of this was stuff I’d never done before, but it was a
fun learning experience. Like I said, I got the job in the end, so something
obviously worked. I kept a bunch of those old, old writing tests, so
thought I’d throw some of the Wheelman one up here for shahoozies and giggles. Yes, I do cringe a little reading over it. There's some of it I'd do differently now, of course. I’d love to say it’ll
offer you some insight into how to get into the games industry but, frankly,
every studio does things differently, they all use different document styles,
and the tests never really follow a set pattern. Yeah, sorry about that…
----------------------------------
First up, this scene is set in Terry Pratchett’s Discworld, and uses
one of the fan favourite characters – the octogenarian barbarian hero,
Cohen. This is supposed to be a cutscene before some
climactic battle. Apologies for the blog messing with the formatting.
Note: Scene keys on the
destruction of the last skeleton guard.
INT: Sacrificial
Chamber, Inner Sanctum, Temple
The bones of the last
skeletal guard rattle to the ground. Cohen the Barbarian hefts the magic
sword and cackles. He turns to the dais
in the centre of the room. Kicking a
skull across the floor and off the edge of the platform, the old man walks
across to the simple stone block.
COHEN Right my beauty…
Cohen eyes the sword slot
in the top. Glancing around, he raises
the sword, ready to plunge it into its final resting place. Already there is a deep rumbling, and the
sword is giving off a sickly light. Weird shadows dance and gambol in the background. Darkness is ready to break through.
Cohen readies
himself. The sword point touches the
edge of the slot. Unpleasant lightning
crackles up and down the blade. The wiry
old man has to use all his strength to keep it steady.
Suddenly, he
stops. He pulls the sword back, his arms
falling down to his sides. He stands for
a moment, head bowed. Then, he leans the
sword against the dais. Slowly, with a
groan of effort, Cohen sits down
beside the sword.
Silence has descended.
The view pans around
until all that can be seen is the dais and the top of the sword hilt. After a moment, a scratching can be
heard. Then there’s the sound of someone
puffing away, and pipe smoke emerges from behind the block. More silence.
Something very big and
invisible clears its throat.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) >AHEM!<
There is more furious
pipe smoking.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) ERM… EXCUSE ME?
COHEN I’m having a rest!
The camera now shows Cohen puffing away on his pipe, looking
relaxed.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) SORRY,
YOU’RE WHAT?
COHEN Are you deaf as well as
all-consumin’ly evil? I’m ‘avin’ a rest!
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) YOU CAN’T DO THAT! CAN YOU?
COHEN I bloody can and I bloody
am. I know what comes next. I’ve done
this sort of thing often enough.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) WHAT’S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
COHEN I stick this bloody stupid
thing in that there slot thingumagig…
MAGIC SWORD Who’s stupid?
COHEN Be quiet you!
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) NEVER SAID A WORD!
COHEN Not you. Him; the sword.
MAGIC SWORD …didn’t think I was stupid when I
helped you kill all those skeletons…
Cohen glares at the
sword, then continues to address the shadows.
COHEN Anyways, I stick the
sword in the stone thing and you come out all
fire an’ brimstone. We fight. I figure out your weakness and, just as I’m on
my last legs, I stab you in the whatsits. Big light
show, lots of noise. I get to go home,
you get to return to the
dark realm for another thousand years.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) …HMMMMM…
COHEN Exactly. An’ I need a rest before we do all that. Bloody knackerin’
it is, dealing with those guards of yours.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) SORRY ABOUT THAT.
COHEN Nah, no worries. Like I said, I’ve done it all before.
Cohen smokes his pipe in
silence for a moment.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) I
DON’T HAVE THEM. BY THE WAY.
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) WHATSITS. I DON’T HAVE THEM.
Cohen casts aside his
pipe with a sly smile. He stands and
hefts the sword.
COHEN Well, that’ll save me
lookin’ for ‘em, won’t it?
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) WHA…?
YOU SNEAKY LITTLE…
Cohen rams the sword into
the dais. Around him, the air boils and
bursts with colours. Over the howling
wind can be heard:
THE BEAST
OF KHNOM (OFF) …AND THEY SAY I’M EVIL…
Final battle begins…
------------------------------
For the second test, I had to write a 'missing scene' from The Fast and the Furious which introduced a new character. That was... interesting. So, here that is too. Again, apologies for the messed up formatting.
Setting Notes: This scene takes place between DVD Chapters
13 (Race Wars) and 14 (Jesse Throws Down the Pink). Please note, these are the UK DVD release
chapters. In the previous chapter, Dominic
(Vin Diesel) and his team have arrived at Race Wars out in the San Bernardino
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Establishing
shots: quick cuts showing racers,
cars and hangers-on. This is the place
everyone wants to be legitimately – where the racers park up and put down. There’s almost no need for security. The legit drivers know when someone belongs,
and they and theirs keep away the wannabe racers who would just get in the
way. The camaraderie and sense of
everyone belonging is magnetic. The
beast-like roars of the engines counterpoint the near-primal rhythm of the
music. The energy of the place is
palpable, the atmosphere electric.
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Through the seeming chaos,
one slight, sweaty figure moves as though lost in a dream. Jesse
(Chad
Jesse is known here, admired here, in his element
here. But he’s also demonstrating his
usual impatience. There’s nothing new
here, and under his breath he ticks off the list in his head as he goes.
JESSE
Six months old… Even Hector’s got better… Last month’s diff… Even Vince wouldn’t drive that…
LATINO DRIVER
Hey! Hey, Jesse! Come see, cabrone.
JESSE
See what, man?! That?! You…You’re mother in there too?
That’s, like,… That’s
her car, right?
The Latino Driver’s hangers-on are laughing. He tries to rally.
LATINO DRIVER
Don’t be dissin’ me,
Jesse. You know this is a ten sec car,
man. Don’t be talkin’ like it
ain’t. It’ll burn up that ol’ Jetto you
got, an’ leave it in my wake.
EXT: Latino Driver’s ‘Pit
Lane’, Race Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
Jesse ambles over. He gives the Latino Driver a
look. He glances in the engine, looking
shocked suddenly. He gasps. Latino
Driver starts nodding, feeling confident.
LATINO DRIVER
See?! He be getting’ the picture now, yeh.
JESSE
Unbelieva…! I have never…! I did not think that was even…!
LATINO DRIVER
I told you, boy. I told you! A ten sec, right here!
JESSE
I gotta say, I… I mean, I am… I am impressed.
Latino
Driver strikes a pose with his
crew. Jesse gives him a look.
JESSE
I didn’t know it was possible
to fit the cool air flow upside down. Cabrone.
Jesse drops the bomb and ambles off. The Latino
Driver almost jumps into his engine to look, realizing he’s been stung as
his crew dissolve into laughter.
Jesse ambles on through the crowds, meandering left and
right, hardly aware of the people. He’s
still muttering under his breath.
JESSE
…Built that in third
grade… Dom beat that last month… Woah!
EXT: Duchess’ ‘Pit Lane’,
Race Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
The camera pans slowly up and
along some very attractive bare female legs. The owner is lying across the hood of a bright yellow car.
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Jesse’s coke hits the desert sands, glugging its contents
into the dust.
EXT: Duchess’ ‘Pit Lane’, Race
Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
The camera pans up, the legs
switching position so that we just miss the swimsuit crotch shot.
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Jesse’s
mouth is hanging open.
EXT: Duchess’ ‘Pit Lane’,
Race Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
The camera continues its
journey, revealing a slim, stunning figure in a designer ensemble, topped with
a straw hat.
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
JESSE
I… don’t… believe… it…
EXT: Duchess’ ‘Pit Lane’,
Race Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
The camera snaps back to show
a gorgeous European woman (Heidi Klum) lying sunbathing on the
bonnet and windscreen of a Maclaren F1 in canary yellow. This is the Duchess. She and the car are
being kept cool by large air conditioning fans to either side.
JESSE (off)
M… M… Maclaren… F1… GTR… The only one…
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Jesse stumbles forward, through the ring of
spectators. They are being kept in line
and at a distance by big, scary Germans in suits.
JESS
V12… Minimum 600 brake horsepower, but that can be
fixed… Have they fixed it…?
Jesse pushes past the last two spectators in the front row,
not realizing they are Johnny Tran
(Rick Yune) and Lance Nguyen (Reggie
Lee). A huge German steps in his
way. Jesse looks up into the stony face of Günter (Götz Otto).
JESSE
Did they fix it?
Behind Günter, the woman clicks her fingers and slips down off the car.
GÜNTER
She will see you now.
JESSE
Cool.
In the crowd, Johnny and Lance are seething.
EXT: Duchess’ ‘Pit Lane’, Race
Drivers ‘Circle’, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert, California, Day
The woman pulls on a
diaphanous wrap and skips up to Jessie,
throwing her arms around him in a big hug. Behind them, the boys in the crowd cheers and groan and cat-call. Jesse
is still looking at the car.
DUCHESS
Jesse! How are you, darling?! Is Dominic about?
JESSE
Hey Duchess. Yeh, he an’ Letty are about somew… Did… did you…Is this tuned past…?
DUCHESS
Typical Jesse. Straight to business. Letty still around? Hmmm… Can’t
see it myself.
JESSE
Yeah, Letty’s still
there. Don’t tell me this is still
running factory specs. I mean, that’d be
a… just… I mean, like criminal.
DUCHESS
Jesse! Please!
Would I do that to you?
JESSE
Oh… Oh ho ho…Did you let the
Dane…? Did he…?
The Duchess leans close to Jesse’s
ear and whispers. He twitches and wilts
under this near-sexual numerical experience. The Duchess then goes all coy and innocent.
DUCHESS
800 b…h…p!
JESSE
I gotta see…
DUCHESS
You want to see… underneath?
JESSE
You’d do that for… me?
DUCHESS
Of course, Jesse. Follow me.
Duchess leads Jesse
around to where the back of the car is open to show the engine. Jesse
dives right in, while the Duchess is
brought drinks by Günter.
EXT: Race Drivers ‘Circle’,
Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert ,
California
Back in the crowd, Johnny and Lance are being stared down by one of the other bodyguards.
JOHNNY
Lance? Get the car. The 2000.
EXT: Entrance To Driver’s
Rest Area, Race Wars, San Bernardino
Desert , California
Jesse
is walking back from seeing the Duchess,
smiling from ear to ear, chuckling to himself and muttering specs for the
F1. He is totally oblivious to all
around him. He doesn’t see the black
shape of a Honda 2000 stalking him.
INT: Johnny Tran’s Honda
2000, Entrance To Driver’s Rest Area, Race Wars, San Bernardino Desert,
California, Day
Abruptly, Johnny guns the engine.
EXT: Entrance To Driver’s
Rest Area, Race Wars, San Bernardino
Desert , California
A few pedestrians scatter as Johnny cuts past Jesse’s right side. Tran opens his door and reverses back,
stopping just in front of Jesse, the
door preventing the confused mechanic from walking on.
Johnny, looking coldly angry, holds a pink slip in his
fist. Jesse looks at him, still confused.
JOHNNY
Let’s talk.
ENDS
(Just in case… The next scene in the film sees Brian nearly K-O.ed by Jesse coming out
of the team trailer with the pink slip to his dad’s car. He subsequently loses it to Johnny Tan, but rides
off into the desert with what is now Johnny’s car, sealing his doom.)
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